Yogagal

...because you know I couldn't let this go, here's some EPOV from the fic you wrote for me!

Happy Birthday to my fanfic bestie, Nic. You spice up my life like authentic jambalaya. I love the fact that we sometimes share the most ridiculous, cracked out brain ever. We get each other like nobody else, and Voicebox Emmett proves that. I'm glad you're the nutty peanut butter to my jelly. I hope you have the happiest birthday ever! xo Yogagal

First, let's hear a little bit from Emmett...

And now...Rock Out With Your Glock Out: Part Deuce

A/N: Word up to ICMezzo for the bitchin' beta job - thanks, yo!

EPOV

I watch that sexy motherfucker waltz his way into the club all cool, like he owns it. Although, I guess he does. Own it that is.

Stupid, sexy Jasper Whitlock.

Stupid, sexy Jasper Whitlock, who may or may not be a member of the infamous Hale family. Yes. The Hale family. Soprano wannabe assholes.

Regardless, here he is, making his way into the club that he owns, letting everyone know by his sizzling stare how high and fucking mighty he actually is. I hate him for it. I watch as he rebuffs the advances of some hootchie looking redhead and turns down a blonde girl with nothing but a steely look. I laugh, watching as yet another pathetic ho scurries away with her tail between her legs of Jasper's cock.

I have a feeling, though, about Jasper Whitlock. Despite the various skanks dripping off his arm all the time, I know there is something different about him, and I'm intent on proving it tonight. Well, that was the plan anyway, until my stupid ass sister had to go and fuck everything up.

I watch as Alice makes her way up to him, adopting the doe-eyed, "oh-face" all the other guys can't resist. She even pushes her tits (a gift from me for her eighteenth birthday because we're tight like that, yo) up against his rock hard chest, but he just swats her away like she's trash. Sure, the girl's pretty skanky, but she's still my fucking sister after all. And poor, poor Alice just can't take the hint. She tries for Jasper's attention once more, only landing her ass out on the pavement thanks to that motherfucking robot bodyguard of his. He ain't really no robot, but he sure as hell talks like one. He's built like Conan the hottie Barbarian, and I can definitely see getting busy with him in a Burger King bathroom if he shut off that voice box of his. No way I'd be able to get all down and dirty with somebody who sounds like he permanently works the drive-thru window at the 'King.

While the sexy robot is probably fuckable, I had my eyes set on one man and one man only: Jasper Whitlock. Now, I'm torn. Do I run after Alice to make sure she is okay? Or do I strike and make my move before Jasper gets away? My decision is made for me when Jasper makes his way - alone - to the bathroom. It's do or die time. And by do, I mean him. I'm so going to fuck Jasper Whitlock.

When I make my way into the bathroom, he's already there taking a leak. His dick may be soft, with piss streaming out of it, but it still looks fucking hot. I can't help but stare as he grapples with the anaconda he's holding in his hands. I pull down my zipper and grab my own piece, which is pretty damn impressive in its own right. I'm already sporting a semi, which makes it hard to take a piss, so I just stand there, absently stroking it while trying to formulate some sort of plan.

Something idiotic spills out my mouth, and I don't even realize what I said. Clearly it pisses him off, but I can't be bothered to care because when he's angry his top lip quivers a little bit and it's fucking hot. I wonder if I can get him even angrier, so I push him further. I know I'm playing with fire, especially when I see a vein in his neck begin to pulse and throb as his words come out faster and dripping in venom.

Finally he asks who I am, and I don't waste my moment. I've watched him, I know he responds to power and confidence.

"I'm Edward Cullen, bitch."

My lips turn up into a self-satisfied smirk, until I see Jasper's blue eyes turn a dark shade of gray and the motherfucker comes at me. His forehead slams down on my face and all of a sudden my nose starts throbbing like a bitch. I'm completely disoriented and trying to figure out what the fuck to do, but I only have one thought traveling through my head...

Jasper Whitlock just touched me!

I finally manage to regain my balance just in time for Jasper to charge at me again, sending me down to the floor, his arm across my throat. My breathing speeds up, and I do my best to not hyperventilate. I'm not scared, though. Edward Cullen ain't no pussy. In fact, if anything, I'm turned on as fuck. I bet Jasper's a fucking beast in bed, and I'm not one to turn down a little roughhousing. In fact, I'm petty sure my cock is tripling in size as Jasper crushes my windpipe.

I may not be able to breathe for much longer, but I'm not going down without a fight. I push forward, pressing my lips against his. He tastes like whiskey and cigarettes and...what can only be day old pussy.

Shit. Maybe my gaydar is broken?

I push that thought aside and turn my attention back to the kiss. It doesn't last long, as Jasper flips us over and holy hell...my cock is right in his face. He's fucking looking too. I knew it! So, he might not be full on gay, but he definitely has some queer in him. If I play my cards right, he'll have this queer in him later tonight. I can tell by the pissed off look on Jasper's face that I'll have to tread lightly though, so I raise my hand and lick it, before grasping his cock.

Fuck. I can't believe I'm holding Jasper Whitlock's cock. I give it a few test tugs and the groan he tries not to let slip comes pouring out those luscious lips, making him even madder. I can't help but get even more turned out when he stutters out that he's going to kill me. My own dick is rock hard and dying for some release, so I swipe it across his face for some friction and relish in the ensuing growl that escapes his mouth.

I release his dick and we exchange some words...his resolve is breaking and I'm that much closer to a night in heaven. And by "heaven," I mean "Jasper Whitlock." Same difference. One thing leads to another and we're kissing again and this time I can tell he's into it. In fact, when I slip my tongue into his mouth he doesn't try to bite it off or anything. I'm finally about to get somewhere when that fucking robot bodyguard busts in like he's King Cockblock.

The cockblocking robot holds me tight, and for a second I think I'm about to get the world's most awesome threesome until Jasper shoves his fucking glock up against my chest. While pistol play can be kind of hot, I have a feeling that's not what he's going for and my raging boner immediately deflates at the feeling of cold metal against my skin.

Jasper yells at me some more, but the adrenaline has worn off and I feel like I'm about to puke. Holy fuck, I kissed Jasper Whitlock and now he's gonna kill me . I don't even care when his bodyguard shoves me to the floor before they both leave. Instead, I blatently stare at Jasper's ass on his way out.

I rate this night a pretty decent eight out of ten.

Sure...I probably broke my nose, and yes, I had a fucking gun pointed at me. But...I had my tongue inside Jasper Whitlock's fuckable mouth, and I'm pretty sure I made him hard for me as well. I wipe the blood that's trickling down my nose before breaking out into a grin. There's no way that he's gonna to forget me now.